The mud was thick and deep and unforgiving. I found myself falling over sideways on the downhill side of the race course and rolling down a 45 degree slope about 10 or 15 feet. Unfocused and frazzled, I scrambled back up the hill to my bike, tried to regain a bit of composure, and continued down the trail until the mud took me out again. I wanted to give up, the conditions were getting the best of me, I felt constricted in my goggles and armor. I pulled my goggles off my head but didn't know what to do with them. I was at the start of my favorite section of the race course, the rock garden. I didn't want to not ride the rock garden, it makes me smile, but I wanted to give up so bad. I wrapped my goggles around my handlebars and hopped back on the bike and the crowd started to cheer. As I pumped my way through my line they started to sing "Happy Birthday". I wanted to cry, my boyfriend had wanted to do something special for my 40th birthday (still two days off during my race run), but hadn't planned anything. This was a pretty amazing surprise. The whole crowd in the rock garden at Beech Mountain singing Happy Birthday as I rode through. Very cool. I was all smiles now, but once I got into the open, fatigue got the best of me again and I pretty much gave up and rolled to the finish. I was sad and disappointed in myself, I had already forgotten the awesome birthday song in the rocks because I had put all my focus on trying to win this race and failed miserably. I got trapped in the competitive blackhole and I witnessed others get trapped in it too. That blackhole can really throw you in a funk. Time to climb out.
Happy Birthday Rock Garden. |
This was my 7th series race at my home mountain, a mountain where I helped clear brush for the original trails for Gravity Nationals back in the spring of 2011, back before I had even ridden a downhill bike! I was feeling good for a win at the last race of 2013, but a flat tire ruined that aspiration. My blind focus on a goal would ruin this one. I thought I was ready, Mother Nature and my lack of practice in the changing conditions showed me I was not. Seven races, not once on the top of the podium. Disappointing? Yes. I have had some time to think about the events of race day and have started to come to peace with it.
Muddy girls on practice day. Me, my friend Chelsea, pro lady Rae Gandolf, and first time downhiller Meiki from Germany! |
Back up one day...practice day was amazing! The weather pretty much sucked, but the course was super fun even in the wet, and the ladies who joined me for the "Ladies Lounge" I had put together for the weekend were really excited to ride. One of the girls had only been on the downhill bike for a few weekends and was determined to race. She had a blast on practice day and successfully got to the finish on race day. Another friend joined us just to ride on practice day and had tons of fun riding the beginner trail but decided to save her first DH race experience for a better weather day and perhaps a bigger bike. A few bike friends came just to hang out with the DH ladies. I got to connect with a few pros who I already knew and some I had never met. All of them very cool women. We all got dirty and had fun riding together. This is what downhill racing is all about! Connections and good times! Learning from each other and encouraging each other when a new challenge presents itself. This weekend was full of challenges of every sort and I have come out of it with quite a bit of insight on competition and how it can be a positive thing, but how it can also be a tad bit evil. A few thoughts from my experience:
All in all this weekend was a good learning experience. I do wish the weather had been a bit more cooperative. I missed out on a few connections I wanted to make with some ladies because the gloom put me in blinders. I tend to be an introvert and when I am stuck in a full face helmet all day because the weather doesn't really let me take it off I end up hiding. (Something else to work on--speak up!) It was great to connect with a few of the pro women and to see all my racing friends. It was awesome to see my friend Jessica on top of the podium even though I had hoped to be there. We both raced our first race together 2 years ago and it is great to see how much she has progressed. It was definitely amazing to have a full podium for the Open Women category and be on it with all my friends. Hoping my Ladies Lounge will continue to give new ladies a warm welcome into the race scene.
Open Women on the podium. 1st: Jessica Gilbert, me in 2nd, 3rd: Sierra Gleim, 4th: Chelsea Blocker, 5th: first timer racer, Alviola Haley. Great job all! |